Wednesday, December 09, 2009

The Best and Worst of 2009

What a fine year was 2009. Let's close shop a few minutes early, out of charity.

1. Best Mass Inability: Listening

2. Best Mass Ability: Talking Loud

3. Biggest Disappointment: Citizens of the United States

4. Biggest Cliche Revived: Congress as bribed lackeys, Mass Shooter(tie)

5. Crime of the Year: Finance Industry Bail-Out

6. Biggest Shame of Year: Bank Bail-Outs and Opium Money, Healthcare Reform(tie)

7. Imperial Folly of Year: Afghanistan and "Soft Power"

8. Best Movie: Antichrist, Lars von Trier

9. Best Record: Noble Beast, Andrew Bird

10. Best Song: "You Saved My Life", Cass Mccombs

11. Best New Bubble: Gold

12. Feel Good Nostalgia of the Year: "Reaganism"

13. Best TV Program: South Park

14. Worst TV Program: Everything on 24 hour Cable News Networks

15. Man of the Year: President Barack Obama

16. Anti-Woman of the Year: Sarah Palin

17. Biggest Pipe Dream of the Year: Healthcare Reform

18. Best Vision of the Future: Smog Blanketed Chinese Hypercities

19. Best Hope for the Future: My continued health and attention.

20. Best Recycled or Thinly Disguised Anti-Semitism: Federal Bank "List of Members"

21. Worst Hagiology of the Year: Glenn Beck extolling, in an ignorant, unhistorical, manner,
"Founders" and "Pilgrims". The Founders denied women and men without property the vote
and didn't consider blacks humans.(Racism?) Then the Pilgrims came to New England to
"establish Religious freedoms". Yes, with rigid theocratic societies that ostracized anyone
who dared to question and gave no rights to women or poor men. They also began the most
successful and enduring program of Ethnic Cleansing, with a religious defense and fitting
zeal, in History

22. Worst Person of the Year: Rupert Murdoch

23. Mercy Killing of the Year: Michael Jackson

24. Best Person(s) of the Year: Yes Men, Angelina Jolie (tie)


Beysshoes said...

9. I'm not familiar with "Noble Beast".

11. I just heard it's topped $1,100/troy ounce.

13. I've never seen an episode. I'm surprised by this one. Coming from you who never saw Seinfeld, I won't ask for any elaboration.

14. I like Chris Matthews (understatement); Donna Brazil; & C-SPAN.

Anonymous said...

I am a Noble Beast. Gold's a bubble. 24hr Cable News Networks are a Social Disease. C-Span is boring but not the same....Seeing Reps and Senators give awful speeches with ridiculous charts and graphs is torture and should be condemned.

Anonymous said...

Man of the Year, Highlight of the Year - this deserves it's own category.

Al Franken.. Shutting down Lieberman.