to billiard halls of a coal smothered
town...
Freddie's blue, intelligent, eyes stayed
cloudless and discrete.
Men awaited numbers cloaked in smoke.
Their coarse affection
came over him in gestures
--fat, gold crusted, fingers
tousled his black hair
or poked his ribs--
the unspoken love of those
who shared sin.
Sometimes he was allowed to tarry.
Freddie watched, studying the
cruel geometry of loss or gain.
town...
Freddie's blue, intelligent, eyes stayed
cloudless and discrete.
Men awaited numbers cloaked in smoke.
Their coarse affection
came over him in gestures
--fat, gold crusted, fingers
tousled his black hair
or poked his ribs--
the unspoken love of those
who shared sin.
Sometimes he was allowed to tarry.
Freddie watched, studying the
cruel geometry of loss or gain.
Interminable nights spent
suffering the ineluctable
curse of blood,
brother misery cheated sleep...
breath burned his heart as
three slept in one room.
curse of blood,
brother misery cheated sleep...
breath burned his heart as
three slept in one room.
The door closes behind
and he welcomes dirty air.
Rough hands pass paper slips
marked with strange codes coldly.
The man smiles enviously
as Freddie sprints unburdened,
spiriting away ashes of night.
marked with strange codes coldly.
The man smiles enviously
as Freddie sprints unburdened,
spiriting away ashes of night.
1 comment:
David, I'd adjust the format. Alter the first few stanzas into a preamble of sorts, as this is a ballad yes? See here:
Spiriting paper slips from brothels INto the billiard halls of a coal smothered town Freddie's blue, intelligent, eyes stayed cloudless and discrete.
Men awaited the numbers swathed in smoke. Their coarse affection came over him in gestures --fat, gold crusted, fingers tossled his black hair or poked his ribs--the unspoken love of those who shared sin. Sometimes he was allowed to tarry. Freddie watched the game, studying the cruel geometry of win or lose ...
Interminable nights
spent
suffering the ineluctable
curse
of blood
brothers misery
burned
deep as mine fires
their breath tindered
his heart as
three slept
in one room
He awoke
to hold
the fire-line
as the door closed
and welcomed the dirty
air
Rough hands
passed paper
slips marked
with strange codes
coldly
The man smiled
enviously
as
Freddie ran
unburdened,
spiriting away
all traces
of the night.
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