Friday, January 11, 2008

Little Freddie the Angelus

Spiriting paper slips from brothels
to billiard halls of a coal smothered
town...
Freddie's blue, intelligent, eyes stayed
cloudless and discrete.
Men awaited numbers cloaked in smoke.
Their coarse affection
came over him in gestures
--fat, gold crusted, fingers
tousled his black hair
or poked his ribs--
the unspoken love of those
who shared sin.
Sometimes he was allowed to tarry.
Freddie watched, studying the
cruel geometry of loss or gain.
Interminable nights spent
suffering the ineluctable
curse of blood,
brother misery cheated sleep...
breath burned his heart as
three slept in one room.
The door closes behind 
and he welcomes dirty air.
Rough hands pass paper slips
marked with strange codes coldly.
The man smiles enviously
as Freddie sprints unburdened,
spiriting away ashes of night.


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1 comment:

  1. Beysshoes3:11 AM

    David, I'd adjust the format. Alter the first few stanzas into a preamble of sorts, as this is a ballad yes? See here:

    Spiriting paper slips from brothels INto the billiard halls of a coal smothered town Freddie's blue, intelligent, eyes stayed cloudless and discrete.

    Men awaited the numbers swathed in smoke. Their coarse affection came over him in gestures --fat, gold crusted, fingers tossled his black hair or poked his ribs--the unspoken love of those who shared sin. Sometimes he was allowed to tarry. Freddie watched the game, studying the cruel geometry of win or lose ...


    Interminable nights
    spent
    suffering the ineluctable
    curse
    of blood

    brothers misery
    burned
    deep as mine fires

    their breath tindered
    his heart as
    three slept
    in one room

    He awoke
    to hold
    the fire-line
    as the door closed
    and welcomed the dirty
    air

    Rough hands
    passed paper
    slips marked
    with strange codes
    coldly

    The man smiled
    enviously
    as

    Freddie ran
    unburdened,
    spiriting away
    all traces
    of the night.

    ReplyDelete